Marvel Knows One Way to Prevent Bruce Banner From Hulking Out That Is Too NSFW to Believe

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While Bruce Banner has spent his life trying to control the Hulk’s violent outbursts, Marvel knows that it takes more than Banner to calm down. Between Banner’s many alters, every Hulk has developed their own tastes and preferences, but there is one tactic that has been shown to be incredibly effective. Unfortunately, this move is likely far too NSFW for Marvel to ever do again.

As part of an r/comicbooks thread about memorable NSFW comic moments, several fans cited an incredible example from 2005’s Defenders #3 – written by Keith Giffen and J.M. DeMatteis, with art by Kevin Maguire – in which Hulk has an unexpectedly amorous encounter with Dormammu’s sister Umar.

After Hulk and his fellow heroes confront Dormammu and his sister Umar,
the Hulk is taken captive
and made into Umar’s servant, leading to one of the Hulk’s most surprising moments in the character’s long history.

The Hulk’s Most Infamous Sexual Encounter Is Still Mystifying To Fans, Decades Later

Defenders #3–Written By Keith Giffen & J.M. DeMatteis; Art By Kevin Maguire; Color By Chris Sotomayor; Lettering By Dave Sharpe

The 2005 Defenders series was essentially a five-part gag by some of Marvel’s seasoned talents. The series, while intended to be funny, was a constant string of walls of text and low-brow jokes, meant to get the occasional chuckle. While Doctor Strange, Namor, and the Silver Surfer were busy fighting villains next to bikini-clad beachgoers, Hulk found himself enthralled under Umar’s command. Instead of looking for a powerful gamma soldier, Umar was looking for a lover. What follows is a series of booms, crashes, and squeaks, as the mystical antagonist tamed the Hulk like no one else ever has.

Following the not-so-subtle sexual ordeal, Hulk is left passed out in a state of bliss, while Umar is unsatisfied with her partner’s surprisingly low stamina. Without energy left to sustain his Hulk form, the Green Goliath is quickly reduced back into Bruce Banner. Despite Bruce’s lack of memories and clear disdain for Umar, he can’t help but note how “mellow” he feels. In one of the Hulk’s most shameless moments, the raging beast was ultimately pacified by a romp in the sheets with the Faltine queen of sorcerous lust.

Surprisingly, The Hulk Actually Has A Reputation For Romance In Marvel Comics

But Bruce Banner Lacks The Hulk’s Vibrato

Despite the absurdity of the situation and the overtly sexualized Umar, this is by far the first time the Hulk has hit the sheets hard. Unlike Bruce Banner, whose eyes have rarely strayed from Betty Ross, the Hulk has racked up a noticeably higher number of romantic encounters than his scientific other half. Speaking of Betty, after becoming the Red Harpy, Bruce struggled to look at his ex-wife. However, where he saw a monster, the Hulk alter Joe Fixit saw beauty. When faced with the unyielding nightmare that is
the One-Below-All
, the lovebirds made sweet love in their monstrously grotesque forms.

Of course, beyond Betty, the Hulk’s greatest love will always be Caiera. After freeing the planet Sakaar from its tyrannical despot, Caiera the Oldstrong and the Hulk married and later sired two children. During their prenuptial rituals,the two actually shared an incredibly touching momentas Bruce was allowed to expose his true form to Caiera. Of course, the green beast has taken on quite a few other lovers over the years. It seems that in the arms, and the pants, of a fierce enough woman, even the Hulk doesn’t stand a chance at fighting back.

Source: r/comics, NSFW superhero jokes thread

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